As women we tend to take care of everyone else around us, except for ourselves. We’re striving to be the best partner, the best mother, the best friend and the best businesswoman and we’re going out of our way to please everyone.
But who thinks about us?
It’s easy to put the blame on others when it comes to your well-being. But the truth is that only you are responsible for your happiness. No one knows better what you need than you. And until you don't stop neglecting yourself, you won't be able to feel taken care of by anyone else.
Self-love starts and ends with you. It’s the foundation for all the other relationships in your life and a fuel for your joy and happiness. You can never truly love others until you’re able to love yourself unconditionally.
Self-love isn't selfish. In fact, it’s the most selfless act you can do for yourself.
When you truly love yourself your life moves forward with ease. Your relationships evolve, your loved ones become eager to look after you and suddenly prioritize things that make you happy. The more you love and accept yourself, the more will you receive. How people treat you is always a reflection of how you treat yourself.
Self-love in the most genuine love that exist. We’re all programmed to genuinely love ourselves and until we don’t get exposed to social programming, we’ll instinctively put ourselves first. Only when society (family, teachers, peers) tells us how we should relate to ourselves, do we become self-conscious.
But deep inside we are all craving for more.
Reprogram your mind for self-love
Change your internal dialogue
Negative self-talk can be your biggest enemy when it comes to creating a healthy relationship with yourself. The things that you say to yourself when you’re upset or disappointed or the thoughts that you think when you’re not happy with yourself can damage your self-esteem and your self-confidence. Pay attention to how you treat yourself in your mind cause that’s what will reflect your in relationships. Talk to yourself as you would with your best friend. Choose words that are nurturing and loving. Use positive affirmations that are uplifting and inspiring.
Clear your mind
Observe your current beliefs and understand your real motivations. Why are you trying to tell yourself that you can or cannot do that thing? Is it maybe because of something that your parents or your partner think you should or shouldn't do? We often pick up beliefs that are not really aligned with our core values but we adopted them somewhere along the way to be socially accepted. These beliefs are not serving you on a soul level, instead are limiting you in becoming your true self. Declutter your mind and weed out the beliefs that are not serving your highest good.
Create a self-care routine
What is it that sets your soul on fire and makes your heart sing? It’s time to do more of that! Is it perhaps a nice bubble bath with a glass of wine and a book? Or a relaxing thai massage with essential oils? Or perhaps a quiet morning journaling alone? Whatever it is, you deserve to take time off for yourself. Block out some me-time in your calendar and dedicate at least 5-10 minutes to do something that makes you happy on a daily basis. Start small, and then increase the dose. Your loved ones will thank you when they see how fulfilled you are!
Set new boundaries
You maybe the one who’s always there for others but you don't have to sacrifice your own happiness for anyone. It is your birthright to have healthy boundaries! When you’re afraid to draw the line for yourself, people will draw it for you and it’s never going to be in your favour. It might not be easy to say NO to someone you love at first but with little practice you’ll be able to find the right balance between being nice and standing up for yourself. You cannot pour from an empty cup! So, by prioritizing yourself you will only strengthen your relationships.
Spend time with yourself
While negative self-talk is coming from your conscious mind (or ego, if you like), your true essence - the real you - is who you are on a soul level. It’s only when you to quiet the noise and allow yourself to tap into your subconscious mind, when you’ll be able to reveal who you really are. Spending time in silence is more powerful than any conversations. It’s how you connect to your inner guidance and unlock the powerful resources of your intuition. Journal, meditate, take long walks in nature. Breathe. Allow yourself to just be. Inner peace comes from living your truth and being your authentic self.
When you truly love yourself, everything else falls into place. Your career takes off, your relationships become balanced and your image evolves into something that actually makes you feel great. Don’t believe me? Join my free 5 day self-care challenge and see how your life transforms in less than a week!
Veronika Nemeth is a Personal Branding & (Life)Style Coach, based in Milan, Italy. Her mission is to inspire and empower women to live their own truth and become the best version of themselves inside and outside.
She works with women who are ready to step into their power, break free of old limitations and create a life and an image that is true to them.
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